The thrill of finding new love is always different for each person, but if given a choice, would you choose the thrill and mystery of love at first sight or would you rather expand an existing friendship of history and loyalty into the next level? Either way, the topic itself of finding new love can most definitely emerge from different ways and direction.
Let’s see if we can dissect the pros and cons of both scenarios...
Love at first sight is often considered a myth by many, perhaps because it is a privilege only given to the rare few. But wouldn't it be exciting to experience the mystery of finding love when you least expect it?
When you can look into a stranger’s eyes for the very first time and you feel your heart beating out loud from your chest, your palms get sweaty and you get all nervous and anxious, all in a good way. It doesn't necessarily matter where you are, what you’re doing, or what's going on around you - all you see is "your person".
Time slows down as if you were given the permission by the Universe to savor every bit of this blissful experience. Your eyes are only focused on this beautiful human being. The details of his/her clothing, the scent of his/her perfume, the first words you both utter to each other, these will all be etched in your memory forever.
You find "your person" to be the most beautiful creature you've ever seen, regardless if your friends agree or not. You are intrigued by what this beautiful creature is like. And your soul speaks to you, confirming that “your person is the one”.
After that amazing first sight, and every time you take a glimpse of him/her, you will be at awe. The mystery will excite you and feed you the drive and the courage to find ways to get to know him/her - their character, personality, interests, beliefs, history. And after finding out all that you can, you continue to be at awe. The amazement won’t go away as you continue to unleash layers and layers of information about “your person”.
You feel goosebumps on your arms and butterflies in your stomach when he/she walks toward you or smiles at you. You get tongue-tied when he/she tries to talk or interacts with you. Your infatuation grows deeper as you often find yourself thinking about this lovely creature.
Unfortunately, it's very possible that this love at first sight experience can only one-sided. If this is the case, pursuing a love relationship is close to, but not totally impossible.
On the other hand, a mutual attraction from the very beginning could turn out to be a wonderful love story in the making. If you both fall for each other at the very first sight, then the chemistry will be intense. When you look into each other's eyes, you see each other's soul as if you know each other from your past life. You will be drawn to each other like magnets, and the excitement of getting to know each other on a deeper level will continue to unravel, and it will never really end. The bliss and excitement intensify as you declare your love for one another.
Nevertheless, it is possible that your love at first sight is not necessarily your first love. It may happen much later in your life. But for the rare few who have met their first love through love at first sight - that's when the impact of your emotions get strongly embedded in you that long after the relationship is done, or gone - you will never lose that nostalgic feeling of love and adoration for your person. He or she will forever hold a special place in your heart, regardless if you deny this feeling or pursue it.
Since love at first sight is not necessarily for everyone, I believe it is fair to state that more people tend to develop an existing friendship turned into a romantic relationship, where friends turn into lovers.
Some people prefer this route when finding a romantic partner because the bond had already been established. Mystery is replaced with familiarity, comfort and stability. You have a deep history together which makes your loyalty for each other more solid.
The love/relationship is strengthened by your bond. After all, you very well know each other inside and out, and you accept each other's totality - all the good, the bad, and in between. You know his/her fears, regrets, dreams, and maybe even their thought processes. You are familiar with each other's preferences, quirks, and you accept all of them, therefore, the likelihood of a lasting relationship is much higher.
The downside is that you skip the mystery, the bliss and excitement that love at first sight has to offer. Dressing up and feeling pretty for your partner may no longer be a priority knowing that you have seen each other at your worst. The butterflies on your stomach and the goosebumps may even be out of your reach. You can read them like a book that there's not much room for surprises anymore.
Challenges often arise when one of you start missing the honeymoon stage of the relationship. When one partner yearns for more - for the excitement and the occasional surprises, while the other half feels the pressure and will have to work harder to provide this experience, the exciting atmosphere to continuously keep the fire burning in your relationship.
If this is the case, openness and creativity will have to play a huge part in order to enjoy a few mysteries and surprises in your relationship. It may be hard, especially with too much familiarity, but with mutual willingness to putting a little more effort in a relationship is exciting and definitely doable.
The truth is, regardless how you started out with the relationship - love at first sight or friends turned lovers - the end goal is always the same, to constantly nourish and work on your relationship and to ensure it is thriving, healthy and lasting.
The difference between the two is that love at first sight had the mystery and bliss at the beginning and the bond and friendship follows, whereas the friends turned lovers have it the other way around. They bond first as friends and later takes it further into a loving relationship, where the mystery and surprises may be experienced.
Some people tend to look for love by putting themselves out there, by being actively visible and social with finding a partner in mind, while others believe that love will find them if it is truly meant for them, so they stay put and just wait it out.
Your preference between the two roads does not always guarantee that it is what you will experience. At times, the Universe can be playful, and you will find yourself face to face with the experience you least expect.
Be open to what life has to offer. Either way, finding new or old love is always an exciting process. Just remember to be thankful and continue to nourish and cherish the gift of love. After all, it is a wonderful blessing and a sacred privilege to experience love no matter how it’s written in your story.
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